Did you see the latest video from the Staples Baddie?
If you didn't, you must have read the story about her in The New York Times.
Headlined, "How Exciting Can Office Supplies Really Be? Ask the Staples Baddie," the article describes the celebrity that Staples employee Kaeden Rowland has experienced from her TikTok videos, showing "Glorp Cat" coffee mugs and other items she created using Staples products and services.
The most surprising aspect of the Baddie's sitch is not her 450,000 followers, but that her employer has embraced her online efforts. Not every workplace influencer gets the same support from management. Tony Piloseno, an influencer from Ohio, racked up over a million followers for TikTok videos showing him on the job, mixing cans of paint at a Sherwin-Williams store.
Despite his success on social media, Mr. Piloseno's managers rewarded his entrepreneurial efforts by firing his Gen-X self before you can say Snugglepuss Purple.
If you're not lucky enough to work in a cinematic location, like a stationery store counter or the paint department of a hardware store, you can still become a social media superstar. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
No. 1: Bosses Do the Darndest Things
Put on your documentarian hat and your deerstalker moccasins to capture your stupidvisor as they stuff their pockets with donuts leftover from the morning status meeting or pilfer lunch bags from the breakroom fridge. Finish your doc with images of the big boss sneaking out of the office for a 2 p.m. paddleball game with the head of HR. If your video doesn't generate a bundle of followers, it will definitely pay off when the management team pays big bucks to purchase your IP.
No. 2: The Wolf of the Supply Closet.
Stories of hijinks in high finance are always popular with the viewing audience. Your company's supply cabinet is the perfect background for videos in which you pick out random packages of paper, paperclips and manila envelopes to put on sale at discounted prices on your own TikTok store. A pod about the money to be made refilling black-market printer cartridges for sale in third-world countries could net you an international audience.
No. 3: Dance-Dance-Dance
You can't beat a wacky dance video for attracting followers. Keep your leotards in the office to record your surprise drop-ins on co-workers, popping and locking in a dance challenge no mid-level manager could resist. If your dance skills are minimal, you may have to distract your audience with a skimpy outfit and a big smile. (If the outfit is sufficiently skimpy, you can forget the smile.)
No. 4: Wuthering Lows
Everyone enjoys a tragic love story. Use your co-workers as the cast of characters in a series of vlogs describing office love affairs that might have been. Using snippets of video surreptitiously shot with your Meta glasses, create the tragic romance between Jen in IT and Jack in Accounting. Use AI-produced love songs to supercharge steamy scenes, like Jack desolately waiting for hours for Jen to show up to reinstall Zoom on his laptop. You may have to follow your lovebirds home to show their troubled relationships outside of the office, which will add to the drama, as the police arrive to arrest you for stalking.
No. 5: Sleepless in Sales
The Staples Baddie became a superstar, showing inventive ideas for using the products her company sells. You can do the same. Work for a company making grocery items? Did you know that toaster waffles make excellent brake pads? Work in the insurance industry? Ever think of insuring your Barbie's Dream House against attacks by your schnauzer? While management may not approve 100% of your marketing ideas, the offer of a production deal from Mr. Beast will more than make up for it.
No. 6: Kill or Be Killed
Pick three co-workers you think could lose their jobs. Record them going through their workdays with no idea of the impending doom. Add suspense and viewership with ASMR, thymically tapping your fingernails on something hard, like your head. Viewers can vote on Polymarket on which of your co-workers is likely to go first. (Extra bonus — with everyone focusing on which of the three is going to be fired first, no one will think of firing you.)
If your current career is going downhill fast, your new occupation as a social media influencer is ready to explode. Remember — getting ahead today is not business. It's show business. And baby, you're going to be a star.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at info@creators.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Solen Feyissa at Unsplash
View Comments